Learning one's true name

If someone were to come up to you today and ask, "What do you do?", what would be your answer? Would you tell him your occupation? Would you name the company for which you work? Would you discuss a philanthropy or community service organization with which you are involved? Would you talk about your family?

This is actually a very common question, one that we may answer several times in the course of a single day. And in our answers may lie a great deal of our identities - at least the ones we've constructed for ourselves. Identities, perhaps, that we've established in order to feel justified, to be financially successful, to be socially popular, to better relate to those around us.

I particularly liked John Eldridge's re-telling in Chapter 6 of the scene in Gladiator following the defeat of the reigning champion by Maximus.

"After a remarkable display of courage and a stunning upset, the emperor comes down into the arena to meet the valiant gladiator, whose identity remains hidden behind his helmet.

Commodus: Your fame is well deserved, Spaniard. I don't believe there's ever been a gladiator that matched you... Why doesn't the hero reveal himself and tell us all your real name? (Maximus is silent.) You do have a name?

Maximus: My name is Gladiator. (he turns and walks away.)

Commodus: How dare you show your back to me?! Slave! You will remove your helmet and tell me your name.

Maximus: (Slowly, very slowly lifts his helmet and turns to face his enemy.) My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius; Commander of the Armies of the North; General of the Felix Legions; loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius; father to a murdered son; husband to a murdered wife; and I will have my vengeance, in this life or in the next."

Now, that's an identity! Maximus cites his occupation - he is a military general, but he also gives us a glimpse into what he's fighting for - the restoration of order in the empire, the vindication of his family.

Now, outside of the movie theatre, I don't think many of us would feel comfortable just laying it all out there. At a cocktail party, I'm unlikely to answer the question 'what do you do?' with "I'm a real estate consultant and defender of freedom and the American Way!"

But, don't you also feel just a bit shallow answering with just your job? Are we all too reliant on our occupations as the primary definers of our identities? Shouldn't we hold ourselves in higher esteem than to define ourselves with how we pay the bills?

If not by our jobs, from where can our identities come? Do they arise out of our hobbies or how we spend our free time? Do they arise out of the books we read or the television we watch, maybe the sports teams we follow? Maybe from the music to which we listen? All of these may serve to determine into which marketing demographic we fall, but probably do not provide many answers to our identities.

So, if our identities are not best defined by our jobs, and nor are they revealed through our likes and dislikes - from where do they come?

...And how will you answer that question at your next cocktail party?